Do you just feel like throwing in the towel at times? Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why am I hanging around these negative nellies?” Do you ever wonder why it’s so important to keep your mindset on positive and lovely things? Then let’s watch this video and have a conversation about it.
My middle nephew came to visit me and to help him with his career plans. During his visit, I got really present to a few things, that I just had to share. One of the biggest things that jumped right out at me was “negative self-talk.” It’s so darn destructive and yet mostly all of us are unaware that we do it in the first place. We do it everytime we dismiss our little wins. We do it when we make excuses for us not doing x,y, or z. We do it to make our friends look and feel better. I can do a whole video series on this. Yet, I only want to focus on 3 quick things you and I can do to keep ourselves engaged and on our game court.
Now on to the video!
I will confess, I was so worried about putting this video out there and sharing. It wasn’t perfect and blah blah blah. I just finished reading Grant Cardone’s book – “Be Obsessed or Be Average.“ Now, I am taking action; and that action is doing this. I am going to stick with internet marketing, self-branding till I get it right. When we stay engaged and on the court, we can get things done and create wins for ourselves. You can win – just stay in the game and on the court.
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Faith without works is just plain old dead. That new business you paid good money to start, is not generating revenue if you are not taking actions. No sales are made without some form of a cold call, marketing, or contact with a potential customer. That SEO Marketing Program you bought can’t learn itself. The MLM you joined isn’t going to pay you back if you don’t take “action.”
We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.
Read this quote out loud. Read it again. Read it one more time, word by word. Inspiration demands immediate action. It always has and will. Name a successful person who did not work on their goal? I can’t think of one either. Successful people have an idea, they get started, work towards it…and make corrections along the way. It’s no different than driving to the mall and you have to take a detour due to construction. Or go the grocery store for milk, bread, and cereal…and come out with fruit, nuts, and cheese because it was on sale. Take the actions you can take to make your inspiration become a reality.
Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.
Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997
Action(s) taken in the direct achievement of our goals will always yield immediate and real results. We can take the results and make course corrections and changes. Let’s take it one step further. Have you let a speeding ticket stop you from driving? Then why would you allow anxiety (speeding ticket) stop you from reaching your dreams? Did you ever fall of a skateboard? Did it stop you from skateboarding? Go skateboard/drive your car… what are you waiting for?
Action, action, action is always required to make any dream come true. It doesn’t matter if it cooking an awesome holiday dinner for you and the family to enjoy. It doesn’t matter if it getting the kids together to chip in and send the parents on a 2nd honeymoon for the 40th anniversary. Whatever the goal is, it takes actions! Yes sometimes, we don’t know what actions to take, and we get stuck. We get so stuck we plant our roots in that muck/mire and just stay there. Now it’s time to get unstuck. Dig up that soil, clean off those shoes, and get to stepping. I know you are grateful for what you have out life, and you want a little or lot more. It’s time to take actions and make it happen. Fortune will always favor the bold. Are you bold, then take the action(s).
What would you do if you were on a 545 mile bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles California? Of course you would have a blast, make great friends, and take lots of photos. Imagine you are coasting along and in your zone. You are singing one of your favorite songs, like Adele “Rolling In the Deep.” You are at mile 62 of 109, about to make a left turn. Mind you, it’s been raining and the roads are wet. You’ve ridden in the snow and rain before, you’ve got this. As you lean to make that left turn, all of sudden the $3000 bike you own slides one way, and you continue to slide through the intersection…as you are about to hit that note…”rolling in the deep..” Your fall was so graceful you got the attention of a fire truck crew that was 1 mile away. What would you do?
It was my first AIDS LifeCycle in 2011 and here’s what I did. I stopped singing and was like… Oh *&(& did I ruin my new bike shorts and my bike. Yes, that was me. Just minding my own business, singing my little heart out. Just enjoying being one with the strawberry fields, waving at the people who makes it possible for me to enjoy them at my local grocer. It was blissful. Then I fell…and got shipped off to some ER room in some part of California, that to this day I know nothing about. (I did pay the bill owed as they were not part of my network.) This was small rural town America. This is happened in a place where my $3000 bike is a huge luxury and I had no idea where I was. The only thing I knew I was alive, I had very little cell phone battery left (since then I have several battery packs I take with me on long trips) and my mother was thousands of miles away.
Needless to say, I was not in the mood to be cute and civil. Yet, in the end that crash taught me some things about me, that to this day… I look back on that crash and go “who would have ever thought.” I still have the battle scars. Battle because it was “me against me” in the tango Maurine.
It’s not what happens, but how you respond to what happens that really matters. Yes, it sound very corny and freakish. It’s a powerful truth. I can’t control the weather. I can’t control the people driving the cars, or if the roads are smooth, or if Patti LaBelle releases a new album. What I can control is how I respond and process the situation. We can either choose to find the light and make a bee line for it, or stay in the shadows. It wasn’t easy, but this Caroline went towards the light. I’m so glad I did…as everyone was trying their hardest to take care of me. The faster I got to the light the easier it was for people to come in and what they do best – love them some Earl. Keep it cool…and watch how you respond to things.
The power of community is huge and so powerful. It would take a nuclear bomb to stop the power of a combined community. Something magical happens when people come together for a common goal. When people found out what happened they wanted to do something, they wanted to make sure I was okay. People offered what they could from a hug, to helping with my tent, to carrying my bags, etc…just to give my body some time to heal. Life is so much easier to deal with when you have the power of a community behind you. No one is a success all by themselves. Try ordering a combo number 4 at McDonald and the place is closed. We can only do so much by ourselves!!!
Once you are apart of a community, you’ve got to let people do their part. Man, I am telling you it was hard for me to let people help me. Yes, everyone was loving and so forth…but I was like. “I am grown. I got this.” I was only fooling myself and blocking my blessings. One the nurses just wasn’t having it. She saw right through me. That pretty lady looked me in the face, and said…”stop being a bitch and let people be there for you.” We laughed..and she was right. It was a hard pill to swallow…as I was so independent. I’m still independent, now I just have “Team Earl. I’ve gotten more things accomplished simply by allowing people the be there for me. Let people love you and be there for you. For some stupid reason we bite the hand that is trying to feed us. Stop it!!! Get feed and go take a nap.
Find the good, it is always there!! Since I couldn’t ride the on day 3, I was on the bus headed to the next camp site. While on that bus, I met a mom and her daughter…they were amazing people with big lives. They flew from Germany to make sure we cyclist had what we needed. I was just moved and touched by their love and generosity. I even met a young man who started The Stigma Project. His story was amazing. Checkout their Facebook page and learn more about them. Chris’ story really helped me to see their is always good in everything. Yeah there’s pain and suffering; and when peel back the onion layers, there’s the good right in the center. His story moved me. I found the good in my fall, the situation, some other things in my world prior to the ride, etc. It was like the shades on the window just fell off, and the light came in and gave the room life.
Finally after connecting and talking with folks, going through the whole emotional roller coaster it finally hit me like a brick. We get to chose how we will play the hand we are dealt with. In card games, (Uno, Spades, Poker, etc) you get a good hand and sometimes bad hand. Either way you play to win. (Now granted some folks aren’t good card players… they do the best they can. We all do.) The way the card hand looked to me, I played the Ace when I fell. It could have been a lot worse. Then I played a few spades and got a few books. In the end it doesn’t matter. Why, because I stayed in the game and played to win. I got back on the bike on day 4, 5, 6, and 7. I won the card game. Not only that I’ve been back a few more times!
This blog was about the lessons I’ve learned from either a movie, friends (way too many lessons there) event, etc. I chose this one because I still carry the battle wounds as a constant reminder that I am in more control over my actions, thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc…and that I must allow people to be there for me…and more importantly play to win. A lot has changed since that fall in 2011. I’ve worked with personal coaches, learned how to ride a motorcycle, started blogging, got back into the game of network marketing, went a few dates, hell I’ve even signed up for scuba diving lessons. Plus I am now a group fitness instructor, and I volunteer for AIDS LifeCycle as a training ride leaders. Finally, my cycling has gotten so much better and stronger. One could say, “he’s played his cards well.”
PS: click here to if you want support me/learn more about 2016 AIDS LifeCycle
What would you do if you knew the secrets to winning all the time? What would change you about yourself? How would you use these tools to make your life better? More than likely you are probably thinking…”I don’t know. I’ve always been told winning is for someone else.” Or maybe you are thinking, Earl is this another one of your ‘feel good’ moments. Life is hard and you get knocked downed repeatedly’ Never the less, set aside all of your preconceived notions about winning and ask yourself what would you do if you knew the secrets to winning all the time? Take out a pen, piece of paper (ok for you techies use your memo/note app.) How would your life change? What’s possible for you? What new goals would you take on? What type of body would you have? How hard would you work if you knew the little known secrets that will change the way you think about winning? Describe your confidence levels? Describe how you act if you were in a business meeting for $1 million dollar deal? Keep going…take about another 5-10 minutes and then come back to this blog. (I want you to post of your ideas/thoughts in the comment section below.)
You are back! Welcome. How was the exercise? Did you notice anything different about you? Notice any new thoughts or ideas? Probably a lot o things happened when you did that exercise. First you probably thought…”hell na’ll.” Then you thought, “well, just maybe.” Then it went to…”hmm…this could work.” Probably even started to see something…and if you did “x” then “y.” And you finally got a little bit of a light on the inside…and for just a few minutes you saw something that is possible. Reality steps in and the light/hope/etc starts to dim…and those feelings of being a loser/not a winner chicken dinner start to show up.
There is away to beat that and change the way you think about winning.
1. Create small success on a daily basis. If you turned your reports in on time, that’s a win. If you kept the lights on this month, that’s a win. If you changed the locks on the door and broke up with that no good such an such, yes that’s a win. Everyday when you do something that moves you towards your goal(s), that’s a win!!! You keep taking those steps, you will always win at your game!
2. Surround yourself with people who will support and encourage you to win. If you want to loose weight, get around people who will make you drop and give them 20 push ups. Listen whatever your definition of success is, ask yourself who do you know that is working towards that shared vision/goal/or something similar. Find them and get around them. Yes, that means some of friends will ask to get off of your train. Let them. Not everyone can stay on your success train for ever. Even if you pull them along with you, they won’t stay at your level because they didn’t do the work nor developed the mindset that comes along with that level of success. Go be with the pack you want to run with…and make it happen. Sometimes on the road to winning, you might be alone.
3. Journal and write out your goals!!!!! Notice how you felt when you did the exercise at the beginning of this blog. Do that as many times possible daily. Especially when you feel like victory is a cheap date to a closed burger joint. Now read this slowly and carefully. Nothing on this planet that you and I use, did not come into existence without a written plan/sketch/drawing/display/model…even the commercials you watch and hear were first written out/drawn on a board. You’ve learned to write for a reason…use it! Yes, even the job you currently hold at the place you don’t like, has a job description, expectations, goals, etc. It’s all in writing…now how are your goals any different. Even the gas you put in your car, has a formula written down somewhere in some scientists’ desk.
4. The final small tip that will change your view about winning is really simple. You must invest in your own personal and professional development. If you aren’t willing to learn from those who came before you, those are doing what you want to do…then you are destined to stay right where you are in a different color jump suit. This goes back to surround yourself with winner. The fastest way to change the shape of your thoughts is to pick up a book on personal development and read it. Attend seminars and training in your chosen venture. The human mind is the biggest battle field in the universe. We can create and destroy our own castles with a single thought. If you think you can’t you won’t. If you think you can, then you will try. If you think can, then try and learn/grow/develop the odds of winning big time are higher in your favor. No horse has ever won the Kentucky Derby without training and development. No heavy weight fighter has ever won without training and development. No one who has achieved any level of success that is measurable by any society without training and development. Even Mother Teresa had mentors/coaches/training and development. Look at her success…and the impact she made on this planet. I took a course to learn how to do this. And paid good money for it…and the lessons I’m learning about blogging/internet marketing/mlm marketing, etc when put to use will forever improve the value of my life and those around me.
In the end the secret to winning is really simple and easy….take these 4 tips use them. Go create a life and live the life you want. Yeah it’s work…and it will take some time. The time will pass no matter what you do…and the work will be there no matter when you start. It’s best to get started now, so that you can enjoy you the fruits of your labor sooner…and you will have abundance to share with those you love and support you!
How do you make an impact on the people around you? What does your impact on those around you produce? Does your impact produce negative or positive results? Watch this video and be inspired.
Make An Impact – Inspirational Video
Step back and ask yourself. When your friends told you about their new venture, did you encourage them to go for it…or did you try to talk them out of it? When your mom’s said she was going for a new job, did you explore what it meant to her… or did you tune her out and call her crazy by your silence and words? We all make a huge impact on the people around us. At work, at the gym, on the road, at the grocery store. It’s in our nature… and we must recognize the level and type of impact we make on people. When we are about to cross over to the other side, do we want to remember all the money we made… or the fancy cars… or do we want to remember the people who’s lives we’ve touched and inspired to their greatness. You and I get to be someone who can make this world a little better, simply because we recognize our ability to positively impact the lives of those around us. Or we can be negative ‘Debbie Downers’ and have a negative impact…one that destroys and binds people to a life of misery. The choice is ours. Chose wisely…the impact you want to have on those around you.
Be The Change – Inspirational Video
This is another one that moves me. It’s a constant reminder that I don’t have to know everything to make a difference for someone on this planet. I can the best I can…right where I am…to make a positive impact on the lives of those around me. sometimes, the best thing to do is simply acknowledge a person for being alive. Smile at people when you say hello. Offer to buy a homeless person a meal. We don’t need to be millionaires to make a difference. We just need to be alive…and be the change. Yeah it’s nice if you got millions, but what if you don’t? Do you really want to wait till you have it all, just to help a person at food pantry? To become the force of change you want to see in the world, it must start with you. You see the need. You are in the thick of it everyday. Not your boss, our local elected officials. Only you. You can make a difference right where you are… and who knows where that action will take you and the size of the impact it will have on the live(s) of those you’ve touched. What we know for sure is that you became the change you wanted to see…and you took action. And that’s something to celebrate!